A review of Slow Death by Rubber Duck, by Rick Smith and Bruce Lourie.

Did you know that Louis XIV only took two baths in his life, and didn’t enjoy either? Or that “dancing cat disease” was coined after some cats in Japan started dancing in circles, a direct consequence of mercury poisoning from the town’s fish supply? On the topic of mercury poisoning, the expression “mad as a hatter” comes from hat manufacturers in eighteenth century Europe using mercury in their beaver felt hats.

Slow Death by Rubber Duck, by Rick Smith, Executive Director of Environmental Defence, and Bruce Lourie, President of the Ivey Foundation, is full of fun and interesting facts that will keep you engaged and amused. In fact, their light-hearted and sometimes sarcastic words often make you forget you are reading a terrifying book about the insidious chemicals we encounter in our daily lives and how they affect our bodies and minds.

Smith and Lourie insist that their book is “downright hopeful,” despite the troubling transformation of pollution since the days of Silent Spring. It’s now global, not local; invisible, not highly visible; chronic and long-term, not acute and short-term. Consequently, we must become more aware of what these chemicals are, how they affect us, and how we can make the most educated consumer choices to ensure our own safety and the safety of our children. Smith and Lourie make the frightful (and perhaps insane) decision to test the effects of these ubiquitous chemicals on themselves. They set only one ironclad rule: their efforts must imitate real life.

The two authors begin their chemical investigations by studying the link between phthalates and Testicular Dysgenesis Syndrome (TDS). According to the National Academy of Science, phthalates – which are found in “fragranced” home care products, as well as children’s toys, meat, and processed foods – lead to low birth weights, premature births, atrial septus defects, genito-urinary defects, and ADHD or autism. After a few days of using fragranced shampoos, aftershave, and other personal care products, Rick Smith’s monoethyl phthalate (MEP) levels soared from 64 nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL) to 1410 ng/mL. Similarly, after using everyday products containing triclosan for two days (“antibacterial” products from soaps to toothpaste), his levels rose from 2.47 ng/mL to 7180 ng/mL – far and above the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s stated mean of 13 ng/mL. This leads Smith to ask, “Who knew that conditioning your hair could be so hazardous to your health?” In this chapter, Smith lightens the mood by saying, “So let me put it on the table: I am not a chemophobe. I love chemicals. Most of the chemicals in my daily life, including caffeine and alcohol and even the low-VOC paint on the walls of my home, are just dandy.”

Despite the scary rises in their personal toxin levels, Smith and Lourie insist that we should be hopeful. They remind us that people can make a huge difference. For example, in chapter three, Lourie illustrates how the citizens of Parkersburg, West Virginia spearheaded a campaign against Teflon and achieved great results. Collectively, they created a Science Panel with an extensive community toxilogical epidemiology study. This is now considered to be the most comprehensive study of its kind in the world, overseeing 11 separate health studies including hormone disorders, birth outcomes, and geographical patterns of cancer.

Similarly, the authors describe their own efforts as well as the efforts of mothers to lobby the Ontario government in November 2007 against the use of bisphenol A (BPA) in baby bottles. BPA is linked to increases in reproductive disorders, neurobehavioural problems, and cancers to name a few. Smith describes his meeting with Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty as something out of the Brady Bunch, crying, “Success! I looked at one of the babies hanging over her mom’s shoulder and winked. At that moment, Canada became the first country in the world to take such action to limit exposure to bisphenol A. After years of timid indecision, Canada had finally staked out a leadership role on pollution again.”

Despite its chemically-driven content, Slow Death by Rubber Duck is an easy read. The two authors alternate writing chapters, and in each chapter they focus on a single family of chemicals. The book is further broken up by catchy subtitles. It’s the kind of book you can easily pick up and put down while riding the subway to work.

The book falls short in its lack of numerical explanations. For example, a 2900% increase in triclosan is probably not a good thing. But how bad is 7180 ng/mL? What effects would one begin to see with such elevated levels? While Smith and Lourie sometimes offer national means for toxin levels, or even legislated standards, they fail to give meaning to their own blood test results. Perhaps not enough research has been done to unveil what 7180 ng/mL of triclosan or 4180 ng/mL of MEPs can do to the human body. Even so, it is important to understand the significance in the figures the authors use.

Smith and Lourie intersperse their facts and figures with reminders that we shouldn’t take life too seriously. For example, Smith objects to a colleague using the acronym GLSLRBSWRA (Great Lakes-St. Lawrence River Basin Sustainable Water Resources Agreement) in a letter. He jokes that “Hell must surely have a special place reserved for those who use acronyms with a double-digit number of letters.” In other instances, the authors use humour laced with a little bit of irony to get their message across: “So unlike a toughened and self-sufficient human baby, the science-lab relatives of poor little sewer-dwelling, garbage-eating rodents are actually quite sensitive to what they put in their furry little tummies.”

Simply because Slow Death by Rubber Duck makes you laugh doesn’t mean that its effects only run skin-deep. Underneath the jokes and fun facts is a clear and frightening message. As the co-author of Our Stolen Future, Theo Colburn, states in the Foreword, “The damaging effects of hormone-disrupting chemicals on fertility, the brain, and behaviour quite possibly make them a more imminent threat to humankind than climate change.” After reading Smith and Lourie’s report on the chemicals we ingest daily, I challenge you to think twice before eating tuna every day of the week or buying a new plastic dollar store shower curtain. The day after I read this book, I spent $100 on one made entirely of hemp.